Everyone experiences trauma in their own way, but the human brain usually responds in a very predictable manner. One of the most critical concepts to grasp regarding trauma is the collection of survival reactions referred to as fight flight freeze fawn. These involuntary responses are automatic and hardwired within the body’s nervous system; they are vital for our survival when faced with dread and help us manage acute, chronic, or even mental threats.
The innate responses are meant to protect us, but they can turn into deeply entrenched habits, particularly for those who have gone through chronic trauma. Recognizing and understanding these responses is the first move toward self-discovery and, eventually, healing.
What Are the Fight Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Responses?
The four terms described above depict different ways our nervous system can perceive threats and respond. These are not conscious decisions but reflexive responses the brain triggers to help protect us. Let’s analyze each one more closely and consider how they manifest in everyday situations.
Fight is the instinct to take on the danger directly. This can include anger, aggression, or assertive behavior. While it may seem empowering, it often conceals deeper fear or insecurity that stems from unhealed trauma.
Flight is avoiding the situation altogether. This can manifest as physically leaving a location or mentally zoning out. Flight responders often turn to perfectionism or overachieving as a means of escaping tension, conflict, or anxiety.
Freeze is when both the body and mind become paralyzed. Imagine a deer caught in headlights. This reaction usually occurs when fighting or fleeing is not an option. It is a way to shut down and can lead to dissociation or emotional numbness.
Fawn is the most surreptitious but equally impactful response to trauma. It focuses on appeasement as a way of avoiding violence or confrontation. Individuals with a strong fawn reaction often prioritize the needs of others at the expense of their well-being, driven by the need to feel safety, approval, or tranquility in turbulent situations.
How Trauma Shapes These Responses
Experiencing trauma, particularly in childhood, can wire a person’s nervous system to trigger one or more of these responses. Take a child from an abusive family, for instance. To protect themselves, they may learn to stay as still as possible, “freezing” to avoid drawing attention. Another child in similar circumstances might become a fawning people-pleaser, mismanaging their mood by trying to appease an unpredictable caregiver through constant compliance.
The main idea here is that these responses are strategies formed to help cope with a situation. They do not reflect personal flaws or weaknesses. Rather, they demonstrate attempts made by the body to protect itself from harm. Nonetheless, such responses can become problematic for daily functioning, relationships, and mental health in the long run.
Real-Life Illustrations of Trauma Responses
Think of a person who has social anxiety. They may avoid social gatherings, engaging the flight response. Another person might agree with everyone around them, never expecting dissent, which is a version of a fawn response. These behaviors, often perceived as habits, are not confined to extreme or abusive environments. They arise wherever a person feels unsafe, invisible, or powerless.
In romantic partnerships, the fight can show up as controlling behavior or jealousy, with the freeze response manifesting as emotional unavailability. In corporate environments, flight can look like frequent job changes or an inability to maintain boundaries. These patterns of behavior can change from self-inflicted narratives and harsh judgment to self-kindness and understanding once the origins are explored.
Function of the Nervous System
The autonomic nervous system, responsible for involuntary functions like heart rate, digestion, and stress hormones, sits at the core of the fight-flight-freeze fawn model. It automatically defenses such as fight-or-flight when the body perceives real or imaginary threats to survival.
This mechanism works quite well for physical threats, but it isn’t as useful for emotional and relational issues. For example, someone might feel a racing heart and dry mouth during a conflict. Their body is reacting based on conditioning from past experiences.
Chronic activation of this stress response can lead to long-lasting anxiety, depression, insomnia, and even autoimmune disorders. The impact transcends mental health; it has significant physical health impacts, too.
Trauma Healing and Rewiring Responses
The positive news is that the brain can change in response to new information. With purposeful healing, it is possible to move out of trauma responses and learn to relate to the world in healthier ways. The first step is understanding, which is being able to identify what response is occurring.
With that understanding, therapy can be quite powerful. Methods such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), somatic experiencing, and trauma-informed cognitive behavioral therapy empower individuals to process their experiences and rewire their nervous systems.
Establishing a sense of safety within the body is fundamental. This may include breathwork, grounding techniques, or learning to pause before reacting. Healing does not mean eliminating stress; rather, it means having the right tools to respond instead of react.
Trauma Isn’t Always One Big Event
It is crucial to understand trauma does not solely stem from terrifying events such as car accidents or assaults. Ongoing emotional neglect, bullying, racism, or even existing within a high-stress atmosphere can be sources of trauma that elicit these responses.
In fact, people tend to overlook their trauma because it “wasn’t as bad as someone else’s.” But trauma is not about the event itself; rather, it is about how the nervous system processes and stores the experience. Even the seemingly innocuous can leave lasting imprints if they were not adequately processed or supported at the time.
This perspective allows more people to seek help, even if they do not perceive their experiences as traditionally traumatic. This also reduces shame, which is often a major barrier to healing.
Why Empathy Is Important
People stuck in fight flight freeze fawn patterns are often extremely hard on themselves. They may label themselves as “overreactive,” “too sensitive,” or “emotionally unstable.” But these judgments only reinforce the internalized messages that trauma created in the first place.
A compassionate approach allows for these responses to be adaptive and, therefore, makes room for understanding. They aided in surviving the situation. Now that the threat is no longer present, those defenses can be removed, but that process is far from simple. It requires time, patience, and support. Defenses arms understanding or empathy, not shame in the case of healing.
In relationships, this is critical, especially in conflict. Learning about someone’s trauma response can shift the lens through which one views conflict, withdrawal, or emotional stagnation not only in others but also in oneself. It cultivates empathy while paving the way for a more profound connection.
Moving Toward Empowerment
Identifying your default trauma response is not the end of the journey—it is only the start. Once you are familiar with your pattern, you begin to notice it in real life. There is the opportunity to pause, ground yourself, and ask: “Is this reaction serving me right now, or is it an outdated response?”
Choice is where empowerment comes from. The more awareness you have and self-regulation strategies you implement, the more control you reclaim over your body and mind. Flexibility—not perfection—is the goal. Having the capacity to move beyond automatic responses and act consciously.
Education, community support, and therapy are important in this endeavor. But at the end of the day, it’s reestablishing a relationship with yourself—a relationship rooted in safety, respect, and trust—that matters.
Final Thoughts
Gaining insight into fight-flight freeze-fawn responses can be transformative. It shifts the lens through which you view behavior from dysfunction to adaptation and invites healing with curiosity rather than criticism. If you are grappling with anxiety, conflicts in relationships, or feeling stagnant in life, examining your trauma responses will offer profound progress.
Here at the Mental Health Center of San Diego, we assist people in recognizing their negative mental habits and slowly healing from them. We help them transition into a life where their decisions are made with careful consideration rather than relying on automatic responses.
